The Return of DJ Fag.
He was pissed off there was no queston. DJ Fag had Bobby in his grip. JF tried to explain things but he would not listen.
Let him be JF! I deserve what I am getting. Bobby's words surprised JF, he never thought he would hear those words, from those
vocal chords. They were after all the most famous vocal chords in all of trance music, though this was not to say that they were the best.
But that is not what angered DJ Fag. No it was this. DJ Fag resented most the fact that Bobby refused to carry out his destiny.
They had built Bobby West Virginia to bring trance back home. But somehow Bobby had been corrupted, not by bleepy music, no that was a mere unmemorable blip on the timeline of EDM. No, what Bobby had done was far far worse.
You thief. I showed you the secret of 135 bpm music, and this is how you thank me? By going, the other way? It's true. It's all true. Bobby had fallen prey to Smokin Joles mantra, 'the only way up, is down' He used this philosophy to create 'Travelling'. This was what had started the quiteness war. Everywhere the smoke had not yet settled. You could hear birds singing along with this music, there was a curious, underwhelming energy. There was still energy in this, but that was because Bobby had made it, and Bobby was made to be the best. Even Dj Fag could not deny this, for indeed, He had built Bobby, a long time ago now. 'And such are the consequences of my ill judgement' mused DJ Fag. He explained to JF now, the reason for his anger. 'Under these conditions, allowing for the indesputable tendency of fad music, that is music made by novices, for the mere purpose of gimmick and quick fame, would in turn produce a plethora of quite music, until this was what all of trance music was perceived to be. In this way, trance would once again dissappear from the mainflow, to DJ Fags left membrane. This was not to his liking. He thrived upon the last great wave, as it had flowed in seeming perpetuity from the golden hands of The Varmint. This is what upset DJ Fag the most. This deafening silence..
Suddenly Foci appeared. "Please DJ Fag, give him another chance. We know that before he was corrupted, Bobby was making good progress in the name ofloudness. Foci called up a link to,'It's Time You Knew' "What is this?" JF was relieved to hear a little melody in Dj Fag's tone. He sounded pleased.'Meh!' He cast Bobby West to the ground, with a disdainful grunt. It seems we may have some use for him yet. But we will need to open him up again. He signalled over to his assistant, Tom, the mentalist. They put Bobby into some kind of coma, and carried him off over the hills , towards Trancellvania!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Chapter 5
DO NOT USE. I AM STILL LOGGED IN!
This was the post they were all looking at. Inside the lab, it was dim, but then came a bright, bright sound, from the desktop speakers. They were looking at the page. 'Sir Wesley Oakes - It's Time You Knew' (on youtube).
WTF? shouted Foci out loud. JF LOL'd. Ron the dentist LOL'd. Roy Smither's LOL'd. A thirteen year old girl jacked up on Fanta Pinapple Flavour LOL'd. She took another pic of herself, it's what she did, almost every day. But who could blame her, she was so hot she even knitted her own sweaters. The whole family loved her, and everyone on the outside loved her. The King also loved her. And even the wicked witch of north-east asia loved her, like her own daughter. She was evil, but they all didn't know that, except the wicked witch of south east asia. Even Bobby West Virginia had been fooled. But when he saw the evil he knew, wait, evil must also have some use in creation. So he set out to change her, to remove the evil. He knew he could do it, because he himself had once been, evil. But we were all born good, Bobby knew that, he had seen it all the time. So it became his life's work, to save GIO from herself. This was hilarious!
JF LOL'd. Roy Smither's LOL'd. Even Cuntychop, without any front teeth, LOL'd.
It was only 8 pm.
This was the post they were all looking at. Inside the lab, it was dim, but then came a bright, bright sound, from the desktop speakers. They were looking at the page. 'Sir Wesley Oakes - It's Time You Knew' (on youtube).
WTF? shouted Foci out loud. JF LOL'd. Ron the dentist LOL'd. Roy Smither's LOL'd. A thirteen year old girl jacked up on Fanta Pinapple Flavour LOL'd. She took another pic of herself, it's what she did, almost every day. But who could blame her, she was so hot she even knitted her own sweaters. The whole family loved her, and everyone on the outside loved her. The King also loved her. And even the wicked witch of north-east asia loved her, like her own daughter. She was evil, but they all didn't know that, except the wicked witch of south east asia. Even Bobby West Virginia had been fooled. But when he saw the evil he knew, wait, evil must also have some use in creation. So he set out to change her, to remove the evil. He knew he could do it, because he himself had once been, evil. But we were all born good, Bobby knew that, he had seen it all the time. So it became his life's work, to save GIO from herself. This was hilarious!
JF LOL'd. Roy Smither's LOL'd. Even Cuntychop, without any front teeth, LOL'd.
It was only 8 pm.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Chapter 4
Origins.
Foci turned his head toward the house. He heard the sound of an electric piano. It was like a break, but how come there had been nothing before it? Foci's question would go unanswered for now. He listened. These vocals were different from what he was used to hearing. For one this it was a man's voice. Also, each phrase was unique, with barely any repetition.There was thus more of a narrative to the song, which in turn made the track a song as well. But the track as a whole took precedence after the break. It stunned Foci, could this be? Had someone from this accursed age finally found the secret that was long forgotten? Foci ran to the house. Alfred followed behind.
Foci found JF kneeling on the floor, looking exhauseted now. The strange glow had gone from his eyes, there were still so many questions and so few answers. Foci asked JF about the track. Why
did it begin like that? JF explained. "It's only part of the track. I found it on a server inside the forgotten land. No one there knew how it came to be there. The user's IP was hidden, and the server is now inactive. Even DJ FAG was at a loss, but of course he has no way of knowing about everything that happens within the forgotten land. However there is some hope. The user who uploaded this track left a note attached with the file.
HI ALL, THIS IS THE RADIO MIX OF THE NEW TRACK BY NO 1 DJ BOBBY WEST VIRGINIA. GET THE FULL CLUB MIX ON MY DEBUT ALBUM! IT STARTS WITH A LOT OF ENERGY AND KEEPS YOU MOVING UNTIL THE BREAK. BUT FOR THE RADIO MIX I HAVE THE BREAK SERVING AS THE INTRO!
JF continued now. "The problem is, there is no release date, and there is (strangely) no date left attached to the post on the server. As you well know Foci, the forgotten land had once been DJ FAG's hometown of Virginia in the USA. But after the emergence of bleepy music, he decided, for better or worse, to keep his secret from the world! As we have learned, he used a combination
of science and magic to remove Virginia(and all it's residents!) from time and space as we know it!
That is why it takes ten years to reach the forgotten land. It is not the physical distance which matters, indeed there is none. It is the mental distance which one must travel that makes it so arduos. In order to reach the forgotten land I had to leave my body completely. My body was fed via intraveneous drip while our good friend Ron the Dentist watched over me.
Foci began to yawn. All the excitement had begun to take it's toll physically. Ok, it's great to have you back dad, we should find this Bobby West guy somehow. JF nodded, but he was to tired to say anything more.
UP NEXT!
Chapter 5
Why is there no date or IP adress on Bobby West VIrginia's post? Could it be that he has somehow escaped from the forgotten land?
Foci turned his head toward the house. He heard the sound of an electric piano. It was like a break, but how come there had been nothing before it? Foci's question would go unanswered for now. He listened. These vocals were different from what he was used to hearing. For one this it was a man's voice. Also, each phrase was unique, with barely any repetition.There was thus more of a narrative to the song, which in turn made the track a song as well. But the track as a whole took precedence after the break. It stunned Foci, could this be? Had someone from this accursed age finally found the secret that was long forgotten? Foci ran to the house. Alfred followed behind.
Foci found JF kneeling on the floor, looking exhauseted now. The strange glow had gone from his eyes, there were still so many questions and so few answers. Foci asked JF about the track. Why
did it begin like that? JF explained. "It's only part of the track. I found it on a server inside the forgotten land. No one there knew how it came to be there. The user's IP was hidden, and the server is now inactive. Even DJ FAG was at a loss, but of course he has no way of knowing about everything that happens within the forgotten land. However there is some hope. The user who uploaded this track left a note attached with the file.
HI ALL, THIS IS THE RADIO MIX OF THE NEW TRACK BY NO 1 DJ BOBBY WEST VIRGINIA. GET THE FULL CLUB MIX ON MY DEBUT ALBUM! IT STARTS WITH A LOT OF ENERGY AND KEEPS YOU MOVING UNTIL THE BREAK. BUT FOR THE RADIO MIX I HAVE THE BREAK SERVING AS THE INTRO!
JF continued now. "The problem is, there is no release date, and there is (strangely) no date left attached to the post on the server. As you well know Foci, the forgotten land had once been DJ FAG's hometown of Virginia in the USA. But after the emergence of bleepy music, he decided, for better or worse, to keep his secret from the world! As we have learned, he used a combination
of science and magic to remove Virginia(and all it's residents!) from time and space as we know it!
That is why it takes ten years to reach the forgotten land. It is not the physical distance which matters, indeed there is none. It is the mental distance which one must travel that makes it so arduos. In order to reach the forgotten land I had to leave my body completely. My body was fed via intraveneous drip while our good friend Ron the Dentist watched over me.
Foci began to yawn. All the excitement had begun to take it's toll physically. Ok, it's great to have you back dad, we should find this Bobby West guy somehow. JF nodded, but he was to tired to say anything more.
UP NEXT!
Chapter 5
Why is there no date or IP adress on Bobby West VIrginia's post? Could it be that he has somehow escaped from the forgotten land?
Friday, January 14, 2011
Chapter 3
Foci was out of breath when he fell in front of JF. Father, you have returned, but what is that you hold with you. JF showed him the flash drive. F-father, is that dreaded thing not used to store mp3's. What manner of evil have you brought upon us father? JF's eyes were aglow. He did not seem to be listening to Foci at all. Foci grew afraid. He started to run but then JF chased after him. He grabbed Foci with both hands and told him, 'it is futile to run. We will not stop until you hear this track.' Foci screamed, Alfred! Alfred! Help, it's dad, he came back, b-but something wrong!' Alfred came running out with a butcher knife. JF threw Foci down and ran in behind Alfred, to the open door he had left. There he locked it, and went to the Stereo System. He placed the flash drive in the usb drive, then pressed play on the track 'It's time you knew'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fbCmCZFg4A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fbCmCZFg4A
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Chapter 2
The Return of JF
Foci looked around the attic. There was a large freezer in the attic, but when he opened it, there were vinyls inside.
The power had long since been turned off on this freezer. Now only the past remained frozen within. He ran his fingers
over the surface of his favourite twelve inch. It was called 'Two in One' by 'Members of Payday'. But Foci
felt a little ashamed of his feelings. What would JF say? Was it too 'cheesy'. No, Foci decided at last, this was a good track,
even JF would think so..
But where was JF? It had been so long since he had departed. It took ten years to reach the forgotten land. It had already been twelve years
since that day. It was Fiesto. Nobody in bubblegum land could deny it. Fiesto had given trance life, and Fiesto had taken it's life away.
Many were left wondering how to go on the day he finally cleared out all his stock. The Trance Company which had been going for so long,
finally closed it's doors. Things were different now they said. But JF couldn't accept that. So he left Foci and set out for the forgotten land.
He hoped he would finally meet DJ FAG and learn the secret that had been forgotten.
Foci looked out the window, he could see the hills. He rubbed his eyes hard, for he could not believe his eyes. There casting a long shadow over the valley, stood JF!
He had chosen this very moment to reappear! Foci could not contain his joy. He ran downstairs and out the back door. He ran over the newly mowed lawns, and past the horses stables.
He could make out JF's eyes now in the distance.
Foci looked around the attic. There was a large freezer in the attic, but when he opened it, there were vinyls inside.
The power had long since been turned off on this freezer. Now only the past remained frozen within. He ran his fingers
over the surface of his favourite twelve inch. It was called 'Two in One' by 'Members of Payday'. But Foci
felt a little ashamed of his feelings. What would JF say? Was it too 'cheesy'. No, Foci decided at last, this was a good track,
even JF would think so..
But where was JF? It had been so long since he had departed. It took ten years to reach the forgotten land. It had already been twelve years
since that day. It was Fiesto. Nobody in bubblegum land could deny it. Fiesto had given trance life, and Fiesto had taken it's life away.
Many were left wondering how to go on the day he finally cleared out all his stock. The Trance Company which had been going for so long,
finally closed it's doors. Things were different now they said. But JF couldn't accept that. So he left Foci and set out for the forgotten land.
He hoped he would finally meet DJ FAG and learn the secret that had been forgotten.
Foci looked out the window, he could see the hills. He rubbed his eyes hard, for he could not believe his eyes. There casting a long shadow over the valley, stood JF!
He had chosen this very moment to reappear! Foci could not contain his joy. He ran downstairs and out the back door. He ran over the newly mowed lawns, and past the horses stables.
He could make out JF's eyes now in the distance.
Chapter 1
Reprimanding Foci.
One day cricket you say? Why Foci, what is this thing you speak of? From whom did you perceive such a preposterous clomage? You mean to teall me that in this abominable situation, a man is forced to swing without thought, in pursuit of a quick fifty? You are serious when you relay to me that he finds himself in conflict over his shot selection? Why Foci, this is insanity. It is akin to rape, even murder. Oh this is dreadful Foci, what would your dear departed father JF say if he hears you have been mixing with these hoodlums? Please Foci, go upstairs right away and polish the vinyls, this should give you a chance to rid your mind of this nonsense!
One day cricket you say? Why Foci, what is this thing you speak of? From whom did you perceive such a preposterous clomage? You mean to teall me that in this abominable situation, a man is forced to swing without thought, in pursuit of a quick fifty? You are serious when you relay to me that he finds himself in conflict over his shot selection? Why Foci, this is insanity. It is akin to rape, even murder. Oh this is dreadful Foci, what would your dear departed father JF say if he hears you have been mixing with these hoodlums? Please Foci, go upstairs right away and polish the vinyls, this should give you a chance to rid your mind of this nonsense!
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